walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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