I cockslap morals
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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