so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize