It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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