She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
