Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
