My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize