Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
