Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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