Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
