my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
