Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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