Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
