I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
