just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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