If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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