Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
