is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
