Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
