He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
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