can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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