I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
