are you still at the devil's house?
Will you blow on my dice?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
