in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
