Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
