Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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