After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
