Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
