i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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