dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
