i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize