woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i dont even know how to be here
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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