And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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