Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
