everyone is single if you try hard enough
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
