My friends, they love my intelligence
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
