when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
