My sheets look like a crime scene.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
