Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
