The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
