thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
