you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
