yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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