Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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