Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
