Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize