she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
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I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
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You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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