My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
