you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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