Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Randomize
