I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
