Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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