I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
