chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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