he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We are all done wearing pants today
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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