i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize