Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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